I received my Sketchbook Project sketchbook in the mail yesterday! It’s so small! It’s got 36 pages, so that’s not too bad, and the paper is not as thin as last year, from what I hear. It’s thinner than I use, so that will make a big difference in how I use it. I will very likely do the art on other papers and then glue them in. Its size isn’t too intimidating, so I think I can actually do this. It has a very plain recycled cardboard cover, so I’ll have to think about what to do to change that. Especially since I seem to have already gotten a little bit of a grease stain on it. What. I don’t know how, it just…happened? Anyway…here it is with some of my beloved Sakura Glaze Gelly Roll pens for scale. No, I don’t get paid for saying that, but I should. I’m a Gelly Roll junkie.
Okay so, I’ve realized something, a little bit more of my art-crazy, over the time of doing the 29 Faces project, that may be an obstacle to overcome with this one, too. Whenever I have any kind of art assignment…ANY…whether I’ve given it to myself or someone has given it to me, I immediately resent art. I feel like just because I’m somewhat good at it, that now I’m expected to just do it. Which is ridiculous, because once I put a mark on the page or canvas, I can’t stop. But that first mark…damn how I resent having to make it sometimes. LOL! Yes, I resent myself. What the…seriously? Shan suggested it was a clever ploy by the Inner Critic to get me to not take the risk of making art. The Critic knows just how to stop me, and for me, that’s making me feel like I ‘have’ to do something. So my Critic says, “You don’t have to make that! Screw that challenge! Screw that project! Nobody can make you do it!” And it is quite the challenge to remember that it is I who has chosen to make the art in the first place, not them. And yes, art school was a huge challenge for me and I didn’t do very well. The best way to get me not to do something is to tell me I have to do it.
So I may even have to psyche myself out with things like, doing art with the the intention of NOT putting it into the sketchbook, just so that I end up with something to put in there. Like, “I refuse to work in the sketchbook, I’m just going to go play with my markers!” *sticks out tongue* Then I can sneak those sketches in later when the Inner Critic is complaining about the grease stain.
So yeah…it has begun. The battle between me and the Inner Critic and the Sketchbook. Tune in to watch it unfold…(by clicking the button to subscribe to posts by email.) 😀