So as you know if you’ve read my blog, I had taken the word FEARLESS as my word for the year. But I found that rather than empowering me, it somehow made me fearFUL. And last night I hit a wall that I couldn’t get through on my own. My writer partner told me about a poem she felt would help, and it gave me the way through to my new word, COURAGE. I realized that in taking FEARLESS as my word, I had inadvertently denied the part of myself that was, indeed, quite fearful. I was telling myself I had to be fear-less. I had to have no fear. And myself was feeling very bad that she couldn’t live up to that.
My new word, COURAGE, which is about feeling the fear and doing it anyway, empowers me, rather than denying part of me. The poem is featured in my journal.
Confession: I’m a participant in a year-long, make art journal pages every day project called, “The Book of Days.” The intention is to use an altered book to do a mixed media page for each day of your life. The FEARLESS journal cover is the book for that project. And there are no finished spreads in there except for one very failed attempt at following the prompt, “Surrender.” After two tries and hours of work, the page ended up making me look like a serial killer, and that ain’t an exagerration. So I won’t be showing it here. I will be redoing that page. A third time.
Mixed media collage is brand-spanking-new to me as a way of doing art, and I’m not good at it yet. And it does not come easily or naturally. So to make a long story short, I haven’t done my pages in this book. I’ve done art every day, but not in this book. I’ve been doing art that comes more naturally to me but not pushing myself beyond that. In fact, I’ve been working on the inside cover since I joined a couple of weeks ago, and I hated it until last night, when my partner gave me the poem. I finally finished it. And now I love it. My intention is that it will give me courage to do the pages in my book, even though it’s all new to me and sometimes I literally become paralyzed with fear.
Okay, so ’nuff talkin’, here’s the art:
Once I posted that to the group, another artist there gave me a link to an amazing page: Ordinary Courage. I went there and read the first page with another, extremely powerful definition of COURAGE and got chills. It is sooooooo prescient in my life right now. I am going to do a page on it for sure, on the page right after that cover, so I just run into all kinds of courage whenever I open the book. I anticipate doing many spreads exploring this word.